I was made aware by Christy Cushing that May 10-16, 2015 is Allergy Awareness Week, and how else would I want to celebrate it, but with some sarcasm, of course. As you all know, when you have a food allergy, you become a custom to the insensitivity of people’s words. It is especially awkward when confronting the non-allergic person; you never know what can come out of their mouths. That is when you become immune to “said” words. But today, I have had enough. It is time that these common folks know how to treat an allergic foodie with respect. So this continues the Allergy Etiquette Series, 10 Curse Words Not to Say to an Allergic Foodie. I am not talking to allergic people; I am talking to everyone else.
1. OMG! That Sucks!
Clearly, I know how it feels. I live with this every day. Your statement wasn’t necessary.
2. But it has so many nutrients?
My roommate always says this to me when I say, “I am allergic.” Yeah! Nutrients that can kill me.
3. Oh! I thought I had it bad?
Apparently not, would you like a cookie?
4. There’s ought to be something that you can eat at the *insert place, function, event, etc*?
If only I could say this with such emphasis.
5. So I thought you wouldn’t like it if I invited you, cause you would be watching us eat, so I just didn’t
Verbatim what my ex told me when I visited him for Thanksgiving, back when we were together. Guess who was having dinner with the wall that evening?
6. If I had a food allergy, I would die
And if I keep listening to your ignorance, I will die.
7. Do you want to eat this? *insert allergic food*
I swear it’s a conspiracy, they are testing me. They want me to crack.
8. Why can’t you just cheat on your food allergy diet, just this once?
No! Cause my death is my choice. But in all seriousness, when I cheat, I have calculated how many sick days I need, when I need to detox and if I have had a lot of nickel that day. So can we stop pretending to be an expert on my body.
9. Do you ever wish you didn’t have this allergy?
Why in the world would you even want me to imagine that when I cannot ever NOT have this allergy. MOST. Unproductive. Question. Ever.
10. You should go to *insert restaurant* sometime, they have the best *insert food*
It’s been like a minute, how can you forget so fast?
In all, we love people who aren’t overcome with food allergies, but we do want them to speak to us with a bit of sensitivity. If there is anything I haven’t mentioned, be my guest, flood the comment box and show them who is boss.
Till next time, try to not get irritated, they don’t know any better. Just show them this post.